stacked platform with a metal heel, low back cool toned frock. aka a dream.

lines, gold, electricity, atheism, etc.

 I've been a little frazzled lately. I think it may be due to the surmounting stress of the end of the semester, rearing its fat, ugly head just around the corner. My spring break came way too late, later than most colleges, and now I'm being bombarded with last minute exams and projects that professors decided to squeeze in before finals. On top of that, I have my first job interview tomorrow. I really have never had an appropriate job, so I'm excited and scared to death. I don't do well in high pressure social situations, so I really pray I don't fail miserably. It'll be a good experience for me though, regardless of my results, so more details on that later.

I was casually telling my friend about a physics lab that I finished today involving electricity and currents, conductivity, etc, and I was explaining in detail about how fun it was, and how I brought out my gold ring and hooked it up to wires to make a light bulb shine brightly (because you know, gold is a very good conductor), and he pointed out to me that I am a definite... nerd. Yup, nerd for life.

In the fifth or sixth grade, I was given a free book set containing the series His Dark Materials, by Philip Pullman. I was always a bookworm, so I remember reading the books and enjoying them immensely. I had free time the other day and am in the process of re-reading them. They are definitely something I recommend. Now that I am older, I did a little research on the books and found out they have atheist themes! So I'm reading them and keeping an eye out on that. The book series is black as the Christian series the Chronicles of Narnia is white. I like these books much better.

At the height of my stress and frustration, something occurred to me that I jotted down, and I thought I'd put it here.

"Raise your hand if you're tired of settling for the mundane and average, tired of dealing with nonsense, tired of not being treated like you deserve to be treated, tired of not having what you should have, tired of being sick and tired. 

Empathy, compassion, understanding, patience, and hope are all positive qualities, but there is a serious line to be drawn. Past that line is where people get stuck, where they wallow around and forget that they have a choice to stand up and do something.

I'm getting this tattooed on me soon and this is something I live by. 'Know your worth.' It may come off a bit arrogant, but its something I remind myself when times get tough. Know your ultimate worth. If you apply yourself completely to whatever it is that's important to you, whether it's a relationship, school, a job, a hobby, know your worth, because that can take you so far. It can lift you out from that stale rut and remind you that you are capable of greater things. You never, ever have to apologize for wanting the best for yourself. Everyone is entitled to it and if you want something bad enough, and do everything in your power to get it, it will come to you.

And if you're in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong person/people, your worth will bitch slap you in the face and remind you that you need to get up and get moving. That's how I see it. This is a personal reminder to myself. I seem to have forgotten, and I just got bitch slapped."

Oh, and immaturity is the biggest turn off. I can deal with jerks, I can deal with mean people, I can deal with stupidity (occasionally), I can deal with a person's lack of manners. But I swear, what I will not put up with is immaturity. What I hate most is feeling like someone's mother, or like I'm speaking to a wall, or a 5 year old. It's a waste of breath, space, energy, life. 

Another thing that is a big turn off is people who flirt all the damn time. Especially if you're in a relationship. If you're single, it's cool, whatever. But if you're in a relationship, you know better. You're supposed to be a couple, committed to each other. Being friendly and trying to connect with people is one thing, but there is a line. And the ones who cross the line are immature. If you're in a relationship, it's not okay to try to get at another girl, or be "best friends" with another girl (Guys and girls cannot be best friends unless they have established they will only be friends and it's proven with time, or, if they have a mild disgust for each other in sexual regards. Either, or, or both). Have the respect and decency to first of all, figure out what the hell is so dissatisfying about your own relationship. Give your partner a chance to fix it before you go drooling after 10 million other girls. No one deserves to be left hanging and not know what they did wrong. If the case is that you did clearly tell them and it's going downhill, break it off and deal with the heartache, then go out and date again. It's called respect and maturity. And by the way, if you get caught trying to do all of that shady business, karma will annihilate you.

On a brighter note, HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS 2 IS COMING OUT ON JULY 15TH.

That is all.

Currently listening to: Laidback Luke's 2011 UMF Set.

Killer.

I am going to be wearing these bad boys at my wedding in 10 years.